Mind-Body-Spirit Integrated Healing Expert Dr Chris O'Banye's Institute Of Wellness & Integrated Healing

Belief in God or Higher Self has been an old age debate that continues to rage till date. In clinical work it presents strong challenges for healing particularly for individual who do not have the concept of Higher Self. It’s even more so in chemical dependence and addiction healing where most individual seeking healing are aware of AA 12 Step program which appears to be grounded in the concept of Higher Self.
Based on my clinical healing experience, I truly believe a spiritual relationship and connection to a Higher Self is paramount in all levels healing. I have to be clear that I am not referring to a theological concept of spirituality. Spiritual relationship is very unique to an individual. Spirituality has different meaning for different people. In many cases our culture plays major role in what represents higher self and the nature of our spiritual relationships. However, it is laughable to refer to things such as a door knob as a higher self, as some people do.
I deeply understand when a person in a healing relationship tells me they do not have a higher self and do not care about one. I remember the case of this fifty six year old gentle man who lost his wife and three children. His wife to cancer and his three children to automobile accident, all within a one year span. The pain from this man’s loses drove him deep into addiction and addictive behaviors. For several weeks in early stages of this man’s addiction healing, I observed him got very angry and emotionally hipped up each time one mentioned higher self particularly “God” in group healing sessions. One morning I asked him to share his relationship with higher self if he had any. This man lashed out in anger and stated:
“Don’t talk to me about God and higher self. I don’t want to hear that crap. If there is one I am so mad at him or whatever he or she is. Where was God or Higher-Self when I lost all my family? Why did he take them away from me? What did I do to deserve that?”
This man spun into a deep emotional heartfelt spell of anger and subbed. His feelings and pain were validated by the group. He was also supported. This type of real life trauma and crisis is what makes introduction of the concept of the higher self and relationship with higher self sometimes very difficult in healing relationship.
The younger generation seems to experience more difficulties with the concept of the higher self than the older generation, based on my clinical experience. Most of the younger generation in chemical dependence and addiction healing tells me they do not believe what they cannot see. Because of this, many of them experience greater difficulties embracing the 12 step program. Many of them tell me 12 steps program has religious principles and the concept of higher self that makes it difficult for them to embrace.
I was in a healing relationship with this intelligent young man who has been in the system since age six. This young man had violated and committed just about every conceivable law and rules in the book with the exception of murder and rape. He also was dependent on chemicals and substance. I entered into healing relationship with this young man at the age of seventeen. It seemed that was a perfect timing for both us. For him, the time presented a perfect healing gift for a healthy transitional growth into a young adulthood. For me, it was a healer’s time to hold a young man’s hand, teach lessons of actions and consequences, model appropriate behavior, heal a wounded soul, nurture and integrate fragmented levels of self, inculcate wisdom of life, and most importantly hand him a tool bag for dealing with life challenges as he procession through this bridge into a new stage of growth.
This young man is a typical kid of his generation who does not belief in God or higher self. He stated “I do not believe it if do not see it.” I never forced or pushed by belief or concept of Higher-Self to him. In all our discussions on the subject, I made sure he understood I respected his belief system. One morning he came into my office for his weekly healing session. He shared with me that he had a strong verbal altercation with a staff in the dorm. He stated he acted out and overreacted in anger and used very abusive disrespectful words toward the staff. He also shared with me he felt very bad after reflecting on it and suffered guilt about it. He told me he went and apologized to the staff member.
In processing the incident and his behavior, I helped him reflected on the person that got angry and acted out. I also helped him reflect on the person, the thought process, and the internal force (his conscience) that propelled him to feel guilty, resulting in his apology to the staff. I said to him, this internal force must have been powerful and convincing about stepping up and doing the right thing. He responded yes. I asked him if he saw this forced. He stated no. I asked him if this was his first experience with this internal force. He stated no.
He reported he fought with this internal “force” most times, before and after he engaged negative behaviors such as smoking dope or breaking into people’s car particularly, during those times he was not under the influence. He reported that he never really paid attention and did what he wanted to do anyways. I explained to him, and helped him gain deep insight that this internal “Force” which holds him accountable about what is right and propels him to do the right thing is his “Higher-Self.” I helped him understand that this Higher-Self resides in the region of the mind we call the subconscious mind.
In age and language appropriate level. I explained to him how we are made of a higher-self and a lower-self (positive and negative). I explained and thought him that religion or religious belief has nothing to do with this simple but very powerful fact. I also thought him the importance of establishing relationship with this Higher-Self and the impact of this relationship with personal growth, healthy living and successful life.
This young man came back in a few days and said to me “Thank you for helping me discover my Higher-Self.” We further worked on making mends with this aspect of us, establishing and maintaining relationship with Higher-Self. This young man made a remarkable turnaround. He became a respectful and pleasant young man from that moment. He transitioned into a system that has allowed him to access a higher education and job training.

By Dr Chris O’Banye

www.iiwih.org

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